Apology

Apology

 

I want to apologize to those who have looked forward to a story since the last one posted.

 

I had a goal and was eager to lauch this site
 Oct 20th, Sweetest Day 
Although that was accomplished I allowed distractions of life to come and bombard me.

 

I apologize

 

I have been questioned of the other two husbands so I will repeat #1, tell of #2 and the series will complete next week

 From this day forward I will write the story of

 a sister who is strong enough, courageous enough to tell what she has overcome

Benevolent enough to share what has made her successful

Caring enough to befriend you with her joy.

Again Enjoy and be encouraged in all things    

 

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This Girl and Them Guys

Husband # 1

I got saved in the midst of shacking

decided we should be married so I would'nt be in sin

He could have cared less about this new relationship I was developing with GOD

as long as

His comforts didin't change but they did change because I changed

I wanted to learn and grow & become who GOD said I was

I was brainwashed and actually believed WE could be better

He said He loved Me

and would try so

He went to the alter and said He felt something

then

He had a strong desire to smoke a cigarette so He went out gambling and stayed a week

I went to the joint to get Him 'cause We had an anniversary

I wanted to share it with Him and I wanted to share GOD

but

He avoided Me because He had lost

Emotions Flared

I was sad and without patience

He was mad and full of pride

We stopped talking

and

the devil grated us a

divorce

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This Girl and Them Guys

Husband # 2

 

I had been set up for this guy

I had a little time to recover from number one

I was living life, loving God and learning God

I had what Paul called a zeal of God but not according to knowledge (Romans 10:2-3)

I hadn't learned enough, what I had learned

 I was preaching but nobody in my outside of church circle seemed to understand or want to hear

Somebody even said to me...Girl! you need to get you some, to calm you down...just a little bit-
God will understand

 

Sooo...one day...on the beach, sun shining he approached me, this fella had swag and filled me up with compliments

but I wasn't hearing them

I was attracted to someone else and the someone else and I were doing over the phone bible studies

 

however, number two was persistent, he found where I worked and showed up on the front stoop of my job with a fresh mouth full of sugar 
I was flattered he had taken the time to find me and since someone else was not pursuing me

I gave all my spare time to the guy who did
We didn't do bible studies but we both knew how to firt and I let my light shine

I remembered God but I had been drawn away from him and truth be told I was liking it.

 

I was embarrased too, my attempt at making it right was...

LETS GET MARRIED 

he didn't want to but we did anyway

 

It was disastrous from the start but I couldn't see the fury we were headed for because I was distracted with fun and deception

We lived the lie for three years until it was made known to me that he was sharing the same deceptive fun outside our household,
their fun produced a child and our fun was replaced with realities to face

We both cried, we tried to talk

but there was no foundation of truth beneath the fun we had 

with no right words and nothing to say

we got divorced

 

This girl them guys, #3

This Girl and Them Guys

Husband # 3

 

Wow! He was this kitty girl's meow

Chock full of knowledge and easy to talk with.

 

I met him before husband #2 through a mutual friend who said he had helped her with her taxes. We visited his home and just chit-chatting I learned he was a jack of many trades 

I was a single homeowner and the skill of some of those trades were needed.

 

The manner in which he worked put me at ease, slowly, casually our conversations gave way to our personal lives. I found myself mesmerized with the words he spoke and the confidence in which he spoke them. I made him my friend, my confidant and my hearts desire. He made it very clear with his words that he had a girlfriend-slash-woman so since I couldn't be with the one I loved I allowed myself to be flattered by husband #2 and the ties were cut with this handyman.

 

When things fell apart with husband #2, I cried  picked up the phone and called my old friend. I wanted to talk this out and hear a man's perspective. He allowed me to pick him up. He counseled me while I drove in circles, giving me the advice to "go home and make your marriage work" but I just couldn't and I admired him all the more for his integrity. I advanced him in my heart and mind dismissing all red flags.

I had long ago released my God given identity of being fearfully and wonderfully made. I spoke it but but my actions were not aligned to this truth. It had been more than 20 years since I began melting in the fantasy of my life and more specifically my life with him.
Prior to our marraige in 2008 I was warned with these words "don't do it" and although at the time my doubts were becoming heavy, in defiance I entered into matrimony.

I read a bubble gum wrapper that said in order for your dreams to come true you must wake up. I was stirred from this long time dream by the reality of our daily living together and had to acknowledge that this union was an injustice to our friendship.

I was so frustrated one morning that I beat him with a wet wash cloth while he stood staring at me. This was far from my character. He was the man that I called friend before husband. This was not the way I wanted to treat anyone, especially someone I deemed friend.

Again I had to be honest and the truth was I could not stay until one of us parted in death.
In less than 3 years I was divorced again

I know that I have learned from each one and am able to laugh at both the good times and insanity I experienced in them.

Any break-up can be heart wrenching but the remedy is to rise and shine from it. Take from it the lessons take are valuable for growth and never surrender with an attitude of defeat.

We overcome



w







 of my life and more specifically the life I shared with him